THE DEATH OF ELIANNE ANDAM

When a child dies I can imagine that it must be a nightmare for the parents, the child’s family and friends. Everyone has heard the statement ‘no parent should be burying their child.’ But it happens and it appears to be happening too often.

For most of us, deaths are personal and private, but when your child is murdered your grief is out there in the mass media. Gaps are filled by members of the public and sometimes zealous newspapers make things up. This all adds to the grief of those whose hearts are broken, who can’t think straight, who are still in disbelief.

One thing that life guarantees is death, we live then we will die. Whether we avoid thinking about death or whether we are obsessed with it. Death will come to us all, whether during a time when we expect it or it may come suddenly without any clue. No one really knows how they will deal with it until it comes. But what seems to help is how our loved ones lived their life.

At Elianne Andam’s funeral in Croydon at Reeves Corner the public came out to see her off. It was freezing cold that Saturday morning but we were there. Prior to this many had laid flowers on Wellesley Road, Croydon, where she took her last moments. The Church was full and many had to stand, I felt fortunate that I with others, could watch from the Salvation Army’s overflow room. It was sad but it really was a celebration of her life. And what a life she filled up those 15 years with!

As parents you notice little things that stand out about your child when they are little. You may notice how stubborn they are, or their ability to always share. Elianne’s parents paid attention to this little girl, she was smart, creative and talented. Elianne was sporty and Gymnastics was her first love obtaining a gold medal in a regional competition. Elianne was raised to follow Biblical principles, she went to Church and balanced this with being a regular teenager. You know keeping up with the latest fashion trends and keeping your hair looking good.

As a member of the Croydon public, I don’t know the full story of what happened on Wednesday 27th September, 2023. The media said she was on a bus with her friend, when the friend’s ex-boyfriend’s attempts to reconcile were rejected. A knife was pulled out by the ex and in her attempt to protect her friend, she was stabbed and died close to the scene. I have no idea how close or far from the actual facts this is. The fact is that she paid a price for being where she was. Her friend has also paid a price and the young man that killed her too is paying a price. He may be sitting in his cell right now going over and over in his head that ‘mad’ moment. But it cannot be taken back, there is no superman to whizz around the Earth and give us another day. No this is real life, where lack of control of our emotions, egos and sense leads too often to a catalyst of trauma.

IN CELEBRATION OF YOUR LIFE ELIANNE PRINCESS NANA AMA ANDAM